How Self Confidence & Defeating Imposter Syndrome Helps Grow Your Resiliency Quotient - ep 161

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You're listening to the Vet Staff podcast, the place where you, the veterinary professional, can go to get your head screwed on straight, so you can get excited about going to work on Monday mornings and be the most fantabulous version of you you can be. I'm your show host, julie South, and this is episode 161. Today we're continuing with part five on developing one of your secret superpowers your resilience quotient. Today we're looking at the agonist and protaginist roles. Imposter syndrome and self assurance play as key components to having a high resiliency quotient, so you can become more resiliently intelligent. Resilience, fortitude. Resilience is a muscle, the one that lets you flex, bend and bounce forward no matter what life and work throws at you. When you have those pear shaped moments in your life, it's the nitty gritty under pressure, that in a strength that keeps you steady when the going gets rough, the steadfast spirit that surfaces a mid strife. Have you ever wondered what makes some people bounce forward from setbacks stronger than ever before? Or have you ever felt like you're just one stress or away from burning out or melting down? What, if there's a skill you can learn to prevent that? Well, there is, and it's resilience, and it can be both learned and strengthened. Make sure you stay right to the end, where I'm going to share another super easy tool you can add to your resiliency quotient toolbox that you can start using straight away. That will make a world of difference in your life as a way to get over any shades of imposter syndrome you might have going on in your head. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by VetClinicJobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment. Connect in veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping VetClinics power up their employer branding game. Visit VetClinicJobscom today to find VetClinics that shine online so veterinary professionals can find them.

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So why is self assurance important when it comes to being resilient? Isn't resilience just about being able to keep going Come hell or high water? Well, yes and no. Yes, resilience isn't just about the grit to keep moving forward through tough times, but there's more to it than that. It's also about bouncing forward and adapting. Yes, it's true, being resilient means you don't quit when the going gets tough in a pear shaped life moment, but there's more to it. It's about making adjustments and learning from those challenges, from those pear shaped events, in a positive way. Being resilient, I think, is a bit of a mix of art and science. It's the art of recovery coupled with the science of adaptation, Like we've talked about on the previous four episodes in this series.

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When you're resilient, you're able to regain your balance and your mojo back faster. You don't just stand still, you pick yourself up and step out with even more determination. At the same time, you're flexible too. You're ready to tweak your goals and how you do things to get through over, under and around stuff that's in your way, those things that get in your way. You're able to explore different routes to get you where you're going. You're optimistically realistic. We've talked about this a couple of weeks ago on Episode 159. I'll put the link to that in the show notes for today.

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As an optimistic realist, you're the type of person who sees the hurdles in front of you as temporary and manageable, not as permanent roadblocks. Having this sense of hope is what fuels your journey forward. Of course, to be an optimistic realist, it means you need to believe in yourself. You'll have a well-developed and a strong belief in your own capabilities. You trust you've got the skills, the knowledge, the resources and the wherewithal to not only get through but to thrive. On the other side, having self-assurance helps you to stay standing when something goes wrong.

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It takes a lot to knock someone down who has self-confidence. When you're self-confident, instead of seeing a failure as a sign you're not good enough, you view it as an opportunity to learn. In a strange kind of way, you get a bit of a kick out of having the opportunity to grow stronger. It doesn't mean it's easy, it just means you have more of a bring it on type of attitude than someone who's resineancy quotient isn't as well developed. By having this attitude, it prevents you from getting stuck. It helps you bounce forward, and those two factors are a crucial part of being resilient.

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Also, when you're self-assured, you handle stress better. Stressful situations to you are temporary challenges, not forever problems. You're less likely to downward spiral tailspin because you know this pear-shaped event isn't forever. This too will pass, and that means less stress. When you're self-assured, it also means you trust your instincts in difficult situations. When you're able to trust your own judgment, you're more willing and confident to take action and try new things. It's also self-assurance that will drive you to go after what you want, your goals, when and because you believe in your abilities. It makes you more motivated to get off your tush and make things happen. If, when something comes up that you hadn't expected, you trust your own ability to get through, get around, go under, go over whatever it is, you have the determination to give things a go, to give new things a go. This is what helps build yet more resilience. Having resilience begets resilience.

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Now I just want to clarify something here, and that's the difference between being self-assured and being cocky. There are two completely different things. One's an animal, while the other's a beast. Being self-assured means that you've got the confidence in your own abilities and worth, without being arrogant. When you're truly confident in yourself, it shows in a good way, a way that others pick up on. You feel good about who you are. You don't need to brag or make others feel small to prove it.

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People usually like being around someone who's confident but not showy, because those people feel kind of real and kind of solid. On the flip side is being cocky. That's when someone thinks too highly of themselves. When this happens, it comes off as rude and beheaded. Lots of I am to prove themselves. Maybe you know someone like this.

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Cocky people often act like they're better than everyone else. They're forever talking themselves up. It's almost like they need to convince themselves because they're not really self-confident and the only way they know how to do this is by telling everyone else how good they are. If you know someone like this, you'll know what I mean when I say that this kind of confidence doesn't really feel genuine. It's got a kind of icky feel about it. It's more about them trying to look better than others, which rubs people up the wrong way. Okay, julie, fine self-confidence. What does that look like in the real world? How can you tell someone's genuinely confident in their own abilities rather than cocky? First up, I think there's a bit of gut instinct involved when it comes to other people. My experience with genuinely self-confidence people is that I've never had to ask myself whether they're confident or cocky because you. I only get that gut response, that question mark, to people who are cocky, who are overselling themselves. Here are some signs for you to look out for and things for you to reverse engineer and apply in your own life.

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Self-confident people don't need to boast or claim superiority over others. They're secure in their own abilities without belittling anyone else's. In fact, very rarely will you hear someone who's genuinely self-confident talk about how good they are. They don't need to prove anything, and certainly not at the expense of someone else. Self-confident people have no problems admitting their knowledge gaps. They're not embarrassed or threatened when that happens. It's not like they're going to get caught out by someone discovering they're an imposter more about that later. Because to them, they know they don't know everything and they know they don't know how to do everything. They know their own boundaries and limitations. Someone who's cocky will have a much harder time doing this. They don't know that they don't know.

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As someone who's cocky, self-confident and self-issued people are always up for self-improvement. They thrive on constructive feedback because they see it as an opportunity to grow, improve, learn more, upskill and get better. Someone who's cocky will more than likely get defensive. They maybe even throw someone else under the bus, and they're somewhat closed-minded. Self-confident people never worry about competing with others. They're happy with others' success. They thrive in it. In fact, they'll be first up to applaud and celebrate the achievements of their colleagues, their peers, their friends, families and spouses. At the same time, they're happy to share credit without fear of being outdone. They'll usually take on more responsibility as well. They'll take ownership of outcomes, good and otherwise. They won't make excuses when things don't go quite according to plan, whereas someone who's cocky and or arrogant is more likely to throw someone under the bus and or avoid the blame. They'll duck for cover. Self-assurance and self-confidence is an in a glow that others feel more than they necessarily see. I'm sure if you have a think about someone you know, people you know personally and professionally, if they're self-confident, then you'll probably recognise some of these attributes that we've just gone through in them. I'm sure you also know people who are cocky. They'll they need to keep proving to others that they can do something, which is probably more likely that they are proving that to themselves.

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What practical steps can you do to grow your own self-confidence or the self-confidence of those people who are important to you, for example, your kids, or maybe even someone you're mentoring? Here are six things you can start implementing straight away in your life that will make a difference. Practice number one practice positive self-talk. That's quite obvious, right? Start talking to yourself nicely about your abilities and about their abilities, so you want them to practice positive self-talk as well. If you continue to put yourself down, nothing is going to change. Remind yourself that you're capable, competent and credible Whenever you hear others who are important to you put themselves down. Please remind that they are also capable, competent and credible.

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Set goals and achieve them. This sounds pretty naff, right? I mean, who wants to set goals, and how is that going to help you gain self-confidence? Well, the more you do what you say you're going to do, the more you'll start believing in yourself and your abilities. If this is all new to you and I'll be surprised if it is because you're a veterinary professional and somewhere along the way you've set yourself the goal of becoming qualified in some way Getting your veterinary, nursing technician or veterinarian qualifications is a goal and one you've set and achieved. So you've already done it. Help your kids set goals, just short ones, perhaps, ones that can be achieved in a term. If you're in a leadership position in your clinic maybe you're the HI manager, practice manager, lead vet or head nurse Look at setting professional competency levels or grades in your clinic. That gives your veterinary team skills objectives to work towards. You can relate them to pay scales, but also tie them in with personal attributes and power skills. The third one is improve your skills. Take on challenges that help you grow and develop your skills and abilities. The more skills you build, the more confident you'll be in your own capabilities.

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I do this when I'm driving. I play mind games with myself to test my ability to determine speed and distance, for example. What I'll do is I'll look at a truck coming towards me and I'll quickly assist when on the road? When? Where will we be on the road? Where will I be on the road when we pass each other, for example? It could be we'll be. Where will be in relation? Where I'll be in a relation to a landmark, perhaps a tree or a street light or a road sign? If there's nothing like that, I'll determine how many seconds it'll be and then, before we pass each other, and then I'll see how close I am. When we pass, for example, right, I'll say that truck is going to be 10 seconds time we will pass each other and then I will start counting the seconds and just to see how close I get.

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I play these games all the time. I play them as a way to help keep myself sharp on the road, to keep my driving skills sharp. Another game I play is that when I see one of those road signs that tell you how many kilometers it is until the next town or the next city, the next, whatever. I then run the numbers in my head the speed I'm going and then the distance to run, to work at what time on the clock it will be when I arrive there and when I'm playing that game. I work it in single minutes, so it might be I don't say five past or whatever it is I might say it'll be six minutes or seven minutes past. It has to be the precise time, and then I see how close I am with that.

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Learning new skills doesn't mean that you have to go out and get your Aussie membership qualifications or get your bachelor's nursing degree. It can be something small but something that reinforces to you that you know what you're talking about. You can play the time-distincts game with your kids when you're out on the road, when you're out driving. It's great for the maths. You can play the when will that truck, vehicle, et cetera, pass us on the road game. That's great for their time-distant skills and that will definitely be valuable to them when they learn to drive. If your clinic has a competency skills framework in place, look at upping your professional or your personal skills so you can work your way up that ladder as well.

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Number four. Now here's one that I bet you wouldn't think I'd be talking about here, and that's checking your body language. Do your non-verbals Reinforce to you in the world that you're self-confident? In other words, do you stand up straight or do you slouch? Do you make eye contact when talking? Do you smile? For the record, I've never been one to take on the superwoman or the Superman stunts. I'm sure you've heard it. When you stand feet apart, hands on hips, chest out like superwoman or Superman does. That's not my style, but it might be yours. So perhaps you can give it a go and see how you feel.

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If you feel more confident, then definitely use it more often. Personally, like I said, it's not for me All I feel when I stand like that, maybe because I already do my best to stand straight. When I do the superwoman bit, I feel somewhat combative, more aggressive. It's not working for me, but because it doesn't work for me doesn't mean it doesn't work for you. It just might work for you. Strokes for folks. When you start standing up straight, when you start making eye contact more often, when you smile more often, you'll start to notice a difference in how you feel in time. It's not an overnight thing. It's just another of those lather rinse, repeat things you can do and you need to keep doing, but they do make a difference.

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Number five of course, the more you compare yourself to others, the more that voice in your head will likely point out every single one of your shortcomings and or your deficiency. So what's the secret? Stop doing it. Avoid making comparisons. Instead, focus on improving your skills and your disposition, rather than to keep measuring yourself against others. Everyone has their own strengths, their own weaknesses and their own pace, so know what yours are. Number six face your fears.

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I had great hopes here of using the buffalo, the bison story. You've probably may have heard it that the bison run into a storm head on while cows turn away from it, but I couldn't find any proof that that's the case, only lots of unsubstantiated urban myths with no research backing them up, and because you're veterinary professionals, there's no way I dare using an animal analogy with you in the room. It makes for a good story, though. Anyhow, back to growing and building your self confidence when you face challenges, personal storms head on. They're shorter, you get through them faster, they don't last as long because you'll spend less time and energy in them rather than all your energy trying to outrun them. So go into them head on.

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And finally, number seven do things that scare you a little and stretch the boundaries of your comfort zone out a bit. Now I'm not talking bungee jumping here or skydiving. I'm not talking things that scare you spitless. I'm talking taking baby steps with things that you logically know won't kill you. For example, at your team meetings, if you're the type of person who really says anything when the meeting chair asks for any questions, if and when you have a question, go for it. Take the leap of faith and stretch that comfort boundary of speaking in public. You're among your peers, hopefully in a safe space, because with each success even though it may feel a bit scary, but you still get to live until the tail about it you'll gain confidence to take the next step. Start small and work your way up. Now let's look at imposter syndrome, something I hear banded around quite a bit in the veterinary profession. What is it and what can you do about it if you think you have it? Today we're going to look at imposter syndrome at 30,000 feet. This week we'll have a look at it from ground level. We'll get up close and personal with ways to help you, hopefully to flush any inklings of imposter syndrome you might have down the drain, to help grow your resiliency quotient even stronger.

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Imposter syndrome or intellectual fraudulence Although not a clinical term, it is when people feel like they're not as good as others think they are Everyone. When they do well and others see them as successful, they worry that they're not really deserving of their achievements. They fear that one day everyone will find out they're not as capable as they seem, that they really don't deserve to sit at the same table as their professional colleagues. This idea was first talked about in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose-Clantz and Suzanne Eims. They noticed that some people, even when they're really smart and capable, still feel like they're not good enough and that others have a better opinion of them than they deserve. This feeling is especially common with those who do really well in their jobs or studies, like high achievers. Veterinary professionals are usually high achievers, right, so maybe you might know or work with a few. The syndrome is often seen in women and minority groups. Aren't something like 75% of veterinarians female, with an even higher percentage of veterinary nurses being female?

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I wonder how many of your colleagues suffer from this syndrome? If so, they'll have this constant worry about not being good enough. If they think or feel that way, it can make them feel anxious, sad and even lead them to undermine or, worse still, sabotage their own success. Well, what does imposter syndrome look like in real life? Maybe you recognize some of the following, even in your, either in yourself or some of your high achievers that you work with, for example. Do you relate to any of these thoughts or actions?

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You feel like a fraud, sometimes or constantly, and are terrified and or extremely fearful that one day you'll be found out Found out in air quotes, that one day you'll be found out. You constantly doubt your skills and abilities. You tell yourself you were lucky to be in the right place at the right time, rather than because your own skills, expertise and or competence was responsible. You take little credit for your own accomplishments. If anyone praises you, you'll downplay it After all, it was luck, remember. You persistently and consistently compare yourself to others and feel inferior. They have the skills, expertise, brains, whatever, whereas you just have luck on your side. You way over prepare and work excessively way hard to avoid being exposed. Because you need to, because you can't have anyone find out that you're a fraud and impostor. Do any of those ring true, either in your own head or that maybe you've heard colleagues or others say about themselves? If so, here's one simple step you can take straight away to help combat imposter syndrome for you personally or someone you work with.

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We'll go into these in a lot more depth next week, so remember to hit that follow button wherever you're listening to this show now, so that you don't miss out and tune back in next week. Alrighty, let's get on with it. Whenever you or your colleague, or maybe your child, starts talking or thinking like they're an imposter, I want you to refocus on the effort it took, of whatever it is they're attributing to luck or downplaying in any way. Effort E, f F O R T E for expertise your expertise came into play and was required. Remind yourself of that. If focus your focus came into play and was required. Remind yourself of that, because it didn't happen without your focus or your expertise. If second death for foundation your strong foundational base of skills and knowledge came into play and was required, remind yourself of that. Ownership. Your ownership of the situation came into play and was required. And guess what? Remind yourself of that. R for results the results happened because of you. Remind yourself of that T for training. Your training in the situation came into play and was required. And guess what? Remind yourself of that too Effort, expertise, focus, foundation, ownership, results, training. That is what you need to do every time you start doubting yourself, every time that imposter syndrome thing comes into play. Any time you hear somebody put themselves down, please remind them about the effort involved, their expertise, their focus, their foundation, their ownership, the results and the training. None of it could have happened without any of that on their part.

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I hope you found this helpful. If you did, can I ask you to do me a favor, please? Please help me spread the Vista podcast word by telling your friends and colleagues about how this show helps veterinary professionals get their heads screwed on straight so they can get excited about going to work on Monday mornings. If you enjoyed today's episode, please hit that follow button wherever you're listening to this right now. It means you'll automatically receive next week's episode direct to your audio feed. It means that you won't miss out. If you'd really like to make me smile, then please tell me what you found particularly helpful today. You can email me. You can send me an email, julie at vetstaffconz, thank you very much. I look forward to spending another half an hour or so with you next week when we'll be looking at imposter syndrome in more depth.

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This is Julie South signing off and inviting you to go out and be the most fantabulous and resilient version of you you can be by screwing your head on straight and getting excited about going to work on Monday mornings. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment, connecting veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go-to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game. Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them. Visit vetclinicjobscom.