Building a Resilient Mindset: The Power of Realistic Optimism - Resiliency - pt 3

Speaker 1: 0:03

You're listening to the Vet Staff podcast, the place where veterinary professionals go to get their heads screwed on straight so they can get excited about going to work on Monday mornings and lead more fulfilling lives. I'm your show host, julie South, and this is Episode 159. Today we continue with part three, on developing one of your secret superpowers your resilience quotient. Resilience, fortitude. Think of it as a muscle, the one that lets you flex, bend and bounce forward no matter what life and all work throws at you. When you have a pear shaped event in your life, it's that gritty grace under pressure, that in a strength that keeps you steady when the going gets tough, that steadfast spirit that surfaces amid strife. Have you ever wondered what makes some people bounce forward from setbacks stronger than ever before? Or have you ever felt like you're just one stress or away from burning out or melting down? What if there's a skill that you can learn to prevent that? Well, there is. It's resilience, and it can be both learned and strengthened. Today we're going to look at realistic optimism as a key component to having a high resiliency quotient, to help you become more resiliently intelligent and make sure you stay right to the end, where I'm going to share another super easy tool you can add to your resiliency quotient toolbox that you can start using straight away. That'll make a world of difference in your life Well before you ever need to use it. Today you'll discover how to use the three C's Control commit challenge to be more resilient. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment, vet and veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game. Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online so veterinary professionals can find them. Vetclinicjobscom.

Speaker 1: 3:05

What do I mean when I say realistic optimism, or of being realistically optimistic? It means that you hope for good things to happen and you work towards making them happen, but you also understand that sometimes life is a habit of getting in the way that stuff happens and, despite all best endeavours on your part, things might not work out always as you planned. You don't just expect everything to be perfect, though. Instead, you make good plans. You've got a plan B and maybe even a plan C, and you're ready to switch if that's what's required. With this type of mindset, you're able to stay both positive and ready to put plan B into action if necessary. Okay, julie, you might be thinking how is this, being realistically optimistic, any different to having a polyanna mindset? Great question, and I'm so pleased you asked that.

Speaker 1: 4:08

Here's how the realistic optimist knows that life in the weather is more than sunshine and rainbows. Because of this, they also know that an umbrella or a raincoat is required on some days, but not every day, only when it could be a possibility. The polyanna, though, sees everything through rose-coloured glasses those clouds starting to form, those CBs that you can see getting thicker and blacker and nearer and nearer. Well, a polyanna has the unwavering positive outlook. You'd likely see those CBs, which are known for leading to thunderstorms and severe weather, in a totally optimistic light. They may see them as a majestic display of nature's power. They focus on the potential for life-giving rain and the thrill of a thunderstorm, or maybe they'd interpret their very dramatic appearance as being the prelude to the refreshing clean air and clear skies that often follow a storm. A polyanna would downplay, or maybe even entirely dismiss the negative aspects, such as the risk of dangerous weather events, and instead they'd marvel at the possibility of seeing a beautiful rainbow once the storm passes.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Another way the realistic optimist is different to the polyanna is when it comes to having an awareness of reality. The realistic optimist would acknowledge the full scope of a situation, including any potential negative outcomes or challenges, whereas the polyanna which, incidentally, is coined after the over-the-top cheerful character called polyanna from Eleanor H Portals' novel tends to ignore any negatives and focuses only on the positive aspects, no matter how unrealistic that might be. When it comes to problem solving, which, as a veterinary professional, would be a strong skill set of yours, as a realistic optimist you'd actively plan to deal with obstacles and challenges and work towards solutions. You'd have a positive attitude, but also a practical approach on how to work with and handle life's pear shaped times. In contrast, the polyanna would overlook problems entirely or assume things will get better on their own, without any effort required whatsoever. A polyanna would merrily carry on thinking everything is going to be absolutely automagically OK.

Speaker 1: 6:51

As a realistic optimist, you'd be emotionally balanced. You are able to maintain your positivity without dismissing your own or anyone else's negative emotions. You'd process setbacks in a healthy way, which means that you'd score high in emotional intelligence Shoes size moments where you at your shoe size age and not your chronological age or meltdowns are few and far between. The polyanna, on the other hand, would completely dismiss and or even invalidate negative emotions, both their own and those of others. They'd insist on everyone staying positive and air quotes staying positive, even when it's impractical, inappropriate and even unhelpful. The realistic optimist knows how to set realistic, achievable goals. Their hopes are grounded in what's actually possible, whereas a polyanna might have totally unrealistic expectations that are completely disconnected from what can be realistically achieved. In other words, a realistic optimist knows how to maintain a hopeful and a positive attitude while staying grounded in reality, whereas a polyanna outlook tends to be naively optimistic, completely overlooking reality and any potential issues.

Speaker 1: 8:22

As a realistic optimist, you know how to balance positive thinking with practical actions. What does that look like, julie? Here are three different scenarios that you might relate to. Let's say an animal presents with life-threatening injuries from an accident. It could be a hit by car bait, poisoning or bloat. The realistic optimist would acknowledge the severity of the condition but remain hopeful about the animal's recovery chances. You'd immediately focus on stabilizing the animal, doing whatever needed to be done, and you'd plan for their rehab. While doing this, you'd let the client know about the seriousness of the situation and the steps being taken. Another example could be an outbreak of, say, canine parvovirus or maybe bovine TB. As a realistic optimist, you'd maintain a positive outlook on your colleague's ability to help control the spread. A realistic optimist might be the one leading the charge with practical steps like organizing vaccination drives or helping with testing, quarantining, herd management and farmer education.

Speaker 1: 9:34

And when it comes to addressing staff burnout. If left unchecked, every profession can face emotional and physical burnout. A realistic optimist would recognize the signs of burnout in their staff and themselves, but they'd remain hopeful of finding solutions. They might implement new policies and procedures to improve work-life balance. For example, better utilizing the nursing skills that already exist on their team, which would give them greater job satisfaction and help free up this is the nurses we're talking about would give them greater job satisfaction. And then it would help free up more time in the vet schedule each day so that they can do the tasks that only vets are legally allowed to do. So they would address staff burnout situations realistically, optimistically. As you can see in each of these different scenarios, the realistic optimist combines acknowledgement of the current challenges with a hopeful attitude coupled with a proactive, concrete plan of action to address the situation effectively.

Speaker 1: 10:53

Okay, so being a realistic optimist is fine, but how does that help with growing your resiliency quotient and how on earth does it help you get stuff done, especially in the workplace? Great questions again. I am so pleased you asked them. Let's have a look at how being a realistic optimist helps with growing your resiliency quotient. First, if we agree and I hope that we do that people who have well developed on higher resiliency quotients bounce forward better from setbacks and challenges than those who don't, it makes sense at least I think it does.

Speaker 1: 11:29

Life, according to Julie, it makes sense to be as powerfully resilient as possible. Besides, having grown up with a realist, which I talked about a little bit about last week remember, realists prefer that term over cynic. Having grown up with a realist in the form of my dad, I'd far rather spend my days on earth realistically optimistic than straight out cynical. I'd far rather have an optimistic view of the world than a cynical, which leads to negativity and distrust. What about you? Here are some ways that growing your sense of optimistic realisticness, optimistic realism, can help strengthen and grow your resiliency quotient, that resiliency muscle that I talked about last week.

Speaker 1: 12:22

Firstly, being a realistic optimist is good, great, even for stress reduction. Imagine being the type of person who gets overwhelmed at the drop of a hat, who catastrophizes absolutely everything, who sees a small blip on the radar as an absolute disaster and then falls into a big black hole of despair. Imagine being that person. Maybe there's someone in your circle who's like that. Their stress levels are off the scale. Sometimes Realistic optimists don't get as stressed as fast or as deep. Sure, there can be a small level of stress, but they're able to recognize it and then take steps to mitigate so that it doesn't totally overwhelm and send them into that big black hole of despair or mental paralysis. When you're less stressed, you are more than able to cope with adversity, a setback, and recover to bounce forward from it. Realistic optimists get that setbacks are part of life, part of the journey. They know that because they've had setbacks in their life before and they're still alive to tell the story that this too shall pass.

Speaker 1: 13:40

When you've got a balanced perspective going on in your head, that is, that everything isn't either a disaster or all puppy kisses and kitten cuddles, you're able to mentally equip yourself to face, and therefore overcome challenges. Maintaining a positive, balanced perspective because of your realistic optimism is to your resiliency muscle. What doing heavy or faster bicep curls does to your biceps it hypertrophies, it makes it grow stronger, which in turn helps with proactive coping, which means that you're mentally preparing for possible difficulties. This is different to being a pessimist and always looking for pitfalls. Instead, you're being proactive. A pessimist sees negativity in every situation, whereas a realistic optimist only activates the realistic side of the optimistic equation in times of difficulty, when things turn pear shaped in their lives.

Speaker 1: 14:44

Because they've got a well-developed sense of self-efficacy, because they've survived before, they realistically, optimistically, know that they'll survive again, that this too will pass. They believe in themselves, which is a great tactic to use when bouncing forward is required. Resilient people are extremely adaptable. They know from experience that the fastest way out of being in a pear shaped situation is to change what they're doing, to kick in with plan B and get through. It's getting through that gets them out. They get that what got them here won't get them there. So they do need to be adaptable, and they are.

Speaker 1: 15:26

Now let's look at the second part of that question. How does being a realistic optimist who's resilient, help at work? Let's say, someone you work with, the clinic generally or you personally, has a pear shaped event going on in their life, and you're a realistic optimist yourself whose resiliency quotient is well developed. Here's what working with you would be like in a pear shaped event or situation. Firstly, you'd have the belief that the only thing that lasts forever is death. You know that this, too, will pass. You genuinely get that prevention is better than cure. You'd be able to head off at the pass or mitigate the fallout of a pear-shaped event. This is because you're able to recognize both your own personal and situational stress triggers and boundaries, and because of this you'd be better situated to take steps to prevent burnout, meltdown and stress. You'd be the person setting realistic goals, maybe not out loud, but certainly your self chatter would be about putting into place contingencies and strategies for plan B and maybe plan C, and you'd understand what's realistically achievable given the constraints and the limitations. You'd be the person taking into account and supporting in an empowering way, not an enabling way, ways for others to avoid becoming overwhelmed if possible.

Speaker 1: 16:55

Being able to stay on the outside of overwhelm is critical for developing resilience. You'd be able to communicate in an effective and a meaningful way about your own capabilities and expectations with your fellow team members, including your head nurse or your lead vet. Your goal, your objective, would be to create a workplace where everyone can be supportive and is supported. You'd be supportive yourself because you know it's really important that when someone's got a pear shaped situation going on for them, that they're not feeling isolated. Feeling both isolated and overwhelmed is a sure fire trigger for personal implosion and meltdown. It's important to steer clear of both of those spaces. And because you're realistically optimistic, you would communicate in your own head and with others. Your communication will be about putting contingency plans into place as a way of getting on with what needs to be done.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Because you've got an optimistic outlook, you'd also be able to maintain hopeful optimism. You'd be solution focused. You'd help someone develop their plan B. If it was, say, your clinic going through a pear shaped event, you'd be on the team helping brainstorming plan B scenarios to work through the situation as fast as is realistically possible, with as little fallout damage as possible. You'd have the solution oriented mindset. You're the person who emphasizes, without being polyanna, the opportunities for change and adaption. You'd see these as a chance to grow and develop.

Speaker 1: 18:52

Okay, so let's say that you're listening to me here and you're thinking oh, on a scale of one to 10 of optimistic realism, where 10 means you're 100% optimistic, realistic you've just realized that maybe, just maybe, you're sitting somewhere towards the lower end of the scale. In other words, you can see the benefit of becoming more of an optimistic realist, or maybe even an optimistic realist if you're not yet and in turn, therefore being more resilient. Then what? What can you do? What a great question, lots of great questions today. I'm so pleased you asked that one as well, because being realistically optimistic works hand in hand with cognitive restructuring, with reframing, but different. Here are some ways. If you've been listening to these podcasts for a while, you'll have heard me mention reframing before. Probably.

Speaker 1: 19:50

Often, cognitive restructuring is a form of reframing, both changing the way you perceive an event or situation to alter the emotional bite that it has. However, in cognitive restructuring, you identify negative, often irrational thoughts, and then you challenge their validity, whereas reframing is a broader term which also looks at a situation from a different perspective. Cognitive restructuring, though, is a specific technique used with cognitive behavioral therapy you may have heard of CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy and it involves reframing reframing thoughts to be more rational and less distorted by negative biases or misconceptions. Both tactics are able to shift your mindset, to reduce stress and improve your overall emotional well-being. Julie, give me an example so I understand.

Speaker 1: 20:53

Okay, you'd use cognitive restructuring if you turn one event into a total catastrophe, or you overgeneralized and one thing means everything, or you personalize and internalize an event or situation, now becoming who you are. Let's say you have a surgery that doesn't go as planned. It's one of those unintended outcome events, not necessarily catastrophic or fatal, but certainly ended up being a lot more stressful and drama-filled than usual. A totally irrational thought would be something like I'm a terrible vet or I'm a terrible nurse, or because the procedure didn't go to plan. Now thinking you're a terrible vet or a terrible nurse because one thing didn't go to plan is totally irrational. You're blowing that one thing out of proportion. You've turned your entire career I'm a terrible vet, I'm a terrible nurse, I can't do anything right into a catastrophic, overgeneralized and personalized statement. You've gone for high drama, total catastrophe. You're doomed to never, ever, ever be a good vet or a good nurse again. Now that's totally irrational, right. One event suddenly becomes everything forever. Totally irrational. Now cognitive restructuring. Such irrational thinking would go something like this outcome is disappointing, but I know it doesn't define who I am, as a person or as a veterinary professional. The reframe on the irrational thought pattern could be something like. I know complications can occur in veterinary medicine, despite the best care. I know I'm trained and experienced. I know I've had many successes in the past. The situation is an opportunity to learn and improve, not a reflection of my entire career. I'll assess what happened, discuss it with my peers and my colleagues to get their take on it and then use this experience to enhance my skills. I know that being a good vet or a good nurse isn't about being perfect. I know it's about doing my best, learning from each situation and continuing to provide compassionate care for my patients. Getting back to cognitive restructuring as a tool to help you develop your optimistic realism and become more resilient Realistic optimists use cognitive restructuring to question and challenge their automatic knee-jerk negative thoughts.

Speaker 1: 23:33

You have to catch them. They'd look for evidence for these thoughts. They'd ask themselves how one suddenly became all. How can that be? So They'd ask where that thought pattern came from. How do they know this? Who said this? Then they'd assess their accuracy or otherwise. They'd discover, surprise, surprise, that the situation isn't as dire as they thought it was Challenging the story inside their head. Challenging their pessimistic beliefs helps prevent them from continuing into a downward spiral into very unhelpful and black pessimism.

Speaker 1: 24:19

You've probably heard somebody say well, how about just replacing negative thought with a positive one, instead of simply replacing negative thoughts with overly positive ones and then having a big dose of skepticism to deal with at the same time as, out of whack, catastrophic thoughts? Instead, the realistic optimist aims for balanced thoughts. By practicing cognitive restructuring, you develop the ability to recognize potential challenges, but also get the possibility that maybe, just maybe, there could be a positive outcome. One fast way I use to develop more balanced thoughts is with a pattern interrupt. You may have heard me say this, my team has heard me say it often. For example, when you find yourself thinking, but what if this doesn't work? You replace that thought immediately but what if it does? And then you can cognitively restructure. By looking for the balance between does what might work and what might not work, you've methodically rebuilt a more balanced thought pattern, one that was hopefully positively optimistic. When you're able to have this type of balanced approach, you're able to have an optimistic outlook without losing sight of reality and becoming polyanna. Realistic optimism is all about proactive problem solving, not just wishful thinking. This is because cognitive restructuring shifts the focus from regurgitating, from ruminating on problems, to being able to explore more actionable solutions. This strategy empowers you to take constructive steps towards dealing with challenges and it reinforces the optimistic view that positive change is achievable when you take deliberate action.

Speaker 1: 26:29

I promised you another tool to add to your resiliency toolbox. It's known as the three C's technique control, challenge, commitment Recognize what you can control at work and in life and focus your energy there. This means accepting that some things are outside your control. Instead, choose, take personal responsibility, like we talked about last week to direct your efforts towards areas where you can make an impact, where you can make a difference, where you can change something, and this will reduce your feelings of helplessness and hopelessness and it will give you a greater sense of personal efficacy. Have you heard the serenity prayer? I'm sure you have, you just might not know it is that it goes. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. This is all about focusing on what you can control and ditching what you can't Challenge.

Speaker 1: 27:38

The second C challenge is try it as it sounds. This is where you actually start looking for challenges, those pear shaped events, as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as mountains you'll never climb or storms that will never end. This shift in perspective turns potential stressors into chances, opportunities for personal and professional development. Commitment Stay committed to your work and your values, even when the going gets tough. Even when you're in the thick of a pear shaped event, even when the storm is rocking your boat, even when you're at the bottom of the mountain looking up. Having commitment gives you an anchor. Commitment gives you a sense of purpose and the motivation to keep going, one step at a time, one day at a time. When you regularly practice these three C's, you strengthen your resilience muscle. You also start cultivating the mindset that not only helps you better manage pear shaped events, to be more resilient, but you also it also sets you on the path of being an optimistic, realist. Three C's Control challenge commit.

Speaker 1: 28:58

I'll put the links to the three C's research on the show notes for you to have a look at if you're interested. I hope you found this helpful. If you did, can I ask you to do me a favor, please? Please hit that follow button wherever you're listening to this episode right now. It means that you'll automatically receive next week's episode direct to into your audio feed, so you won't miss out. If you'd really like to make me smile, then I'd love to know what you found particularly helpful. You can send me an email to Julie at vetstaffconz. Thank you, I look forward to spending another half an hour or so with you next week when we'll be looking at personal beliefs.

Speaker 1: 29:53

We'll be looking at core values and beliefs, the impact of limiting beliefs on your professional growth. All of these will help you grow your resilience quotient some more. This is Julie South signing off, inviting you to go out there and be the most fantabulous, realistically optimistic version of you you can be. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by VetClinicJobscom, the new and innovative global job board. Reimagining veterinary recruitment, connecting veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping VetClinic's power up their employer branding game. Visit VetClinicJobscom today to find Vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them. Vetclinicjobscom.