Mastering the Art of Resilience in an Unpredictable World - part 1

Julie South: 0:04

Welcome to the Vet Staff podcast, the place where veterinary professionals can join me, julie South, in discovering how we can all get our heads screwed on straight, get excited about going to work on Monday mornings and lead less stressful and more fulfilling lives at home and at work. Today, episode 157, we're starting a series on strengthening your resilient quotient. Resilience, that oft thrown out word that, dare I say, it has become kind of trite. Resilience isn't a word I particularly like using because I think it's become hackneyed. My word of preference is grit or fortitude, but to keep things simple so you and I are both on the same page I'm going to suck it up and use the word resilience and resilient and all the derivatives of that word. So today we are going to talk about your resilience quotient, about how you can adapt and grow stronger even when everything and everyone around you is falling apart, and two pieces Over the next few weeks, we're looking at what resiliency and adaptation is and how you can strengthen your resilience quotient, your RQ. As well as that, I'm going to answer a question I'm being asked more often and the ramifications of that more often, which has me wondering whether it's becoming a bit of a thing when vets and nurses are looking at changing jobs. What I'm referring to here is the equivalent of buyer's remorse when it comes to changing jobs. What do you do when you've accepted a new job offer but then, after the ink has dried, you're beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't have accepted. So stay tuned for that, because we're going to talk about that today as well, and I also want to talk about a job we've been asked to find, a clinic we've been asked to find for their next dream team member that we're recruiting for. So stay tuned. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment, connecting veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go-to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game. Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them. Vetclinicjobscom Resilience If you've been listening to the Vet Staff podcast for a while, or back when it was Paul's Clause, wet Noses, you'll have heard me say more than a few times that, in order for our head to be screwed on straight, it's our response to situations and circumstances that count, rather than the situation itself.

Julie South: 3:48

What I mean by this is that we can't control other people's behavior. We can only control our response to their behavior. We can't control most things the economy, the cost of living, the traffic on the roads, someone's health or thought patterns, the weather. We can only control how we respond to these events. Responding is different to reacting. Responding is a considered thing. It's a response which can become almost automatic, whereas reacting is more of a shoe size moment. It's a knee jerk reaction we have and usually gets us into trouble or of some kind, or it comes back to bite us later.

Julie South: 4:41

People who believe it's their responses to situations that are important, who have this as their belief system and attitude, are more likely to be more resilient, have more grit, more mental fortitude than those who think that life is something that happens to them rather than with them. Just to make sure we're both understanding the same thing when it comes to resilience, according to the American Psychological Association, resilience is defined as quote the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress". End quote. Now, with that in mind, let's go a little further. Resilience is like our bounce back muscle after facing tough situations. Everyone perceives and handles it differently, but, at its essence, it's about managing hardships. That means, then, that our backgrounds, our health, our personal experiences all shape this quality, and talking of shaping, let's do a bit of a reframe here. You're probably familiar with the term bounce back, but what if we you and I were to bounce forward instead, because bouncing back kind of implies we're going to end up back on our bums again, backwards, back where we started, whereas for me, when I imagine bouncing forward, I picture forward movement again, a step ahead rather than a step back or a step behind. Therefore, what does it bouncing forward out of hardships look like in action? In real life, it's when you can think of seeing challenging times as being temporary, or using setbacks as lessons, of knowing this, too, will pass and that much of what is is outside your direct control.

Julie South: 6:59

In saying that, though, it's important to note that being resilient isn't about ignoring, it's not about burying our hands, our heads, in the sand or numbing through drugs, cigarettes, food, alcohol or adrenaline addiction the pain. It's not about any of that. It's about processing, overcoming it and having more mental fortitude or grit as a result. In saying that, though, another word of caution constant pressure to always be strong can be harmful. That's part of the men don't cry or leaders don't cry attitude. That's not particularly helpful, especially when or if you're already struggling with something significant going on in your life For example, a health issue, yours or someone important to you, education or attitude problems with your kids, perhaps cost of living problems.

Julie South: 7:58

You package one or a couple of those up with being the leader and the expectation to be resilient can feel sometimes overwhelming. Leadership is not necessarily about being the head nurse or the lead vet. Even it can be perceived the perceived leader in your family or among your siblings, or perhaps your church or other community group that you're an important part of. Just because you may not fit the stereotypical leader and equity leader role doesn't mean that you don't feel the pressure to perform. Let's face it if you keep hitting something hard enough, often enough, with enough force, it's going to eventually crack and then it'll break. It's no wonder we're hearing about more people cracking and then breaking when you consider all the things that are going on externally, let alone the self chatter we all have that goes on internally. So how can you grow your resilient quotient or your resilience quotient, while it appears that some people naturally process it. Air quotes on naturally, others don't at all and some didn't, but now do.

Julie South: 9:19

People who have low resilient quotients are exceptionally well developed in the following 10 things and in fact, they probably have black belts when it comes to hanging onto guilt and regret, being unwilling to face their fears, or a tendency to blame other people or things for their problems. Perhaps they think, feel or behave negatively, maybe they don't take responsibility for their actions, they are unable or refuse to make tough decisions or to take action, they procrastinate or they bury their heads in the sand. They may be unwilling to acknowledge their mistakes, they don't learn from what's happened before, they focus on things they can't control and take or can't take action on just now, and they think about the future in negative terms. Now, knowing all of this, what's one simple step that you can take or do right now to shore up your own resilience, your own resilience quotient, to give your resiliency muscle more oomph? I'm going to give you two things, neither of which sound particularly helpful or powerful, but they both, and they each absolutely are.

Julie South: 10:56

The first thing remember I just said that out of those 10 things being negative is out of those 10 things that low resiliency people have is the negativity. If you picked up that, hopefully you did, it's negativity. So the first thing that you can start doing to build your resiliency quotient, your RQ, is to start looking for the positive in your life every single day. This is something that needs to become a habit. It needs to be part of your DNA, which means that you need to start setting aside a dedicated time each day to do it, to form the habit.

Julie South: 11:41

For me, it's first thing in the morning. Now, just to qualify, I grew up with my dad who called himself a realist. That's what pessimists and cynics refer to themselves. Right, they're not pessimistic and they're not cynics, they are realists. I grew up with a realist who had a black belt in realism, so positivity for me. Growing up was not my default mode. I've had to learn this for me to grow this habit.

Julie South: 12:19

It's first thing in the morning, and what I do is I'm usually the only one up at that time my husband. I get up way before my husband. I've been out for my walk and, depending on what day of the week it is, I may or may not have been to the gym. I fed my birds, which gives me a smile, and I'm sitting down at the window in the lounge with my coffee, being able to see the birds that I've just fed outside, and I think about what made me smile on the inside yesterday and what I've got to look forward to today. If yesterday was not a really good day, then I will go back through the photos on my phone, looking for a photo that did make me smile on the inside, and then I write a short post about it.

Julie South: 13:15

I used to journal. I've been journaling for years. I'm still journaling, just in a different way. I'm doing it more publicly on Instagram with a photo. If you want to follow me, if you want to see my smiles on the inside, then you can follow me at JulieCbSouth on Instagram. Now it does make a difference. I can tell that my day is different. It kind of feels a bit off-center when I don't do it. If life gets in the way, from time to time it does. I can feel and I haven't journaled, I haven't done my smile on the inside post. My day feels like there's something missing and it is because I haven't consciously looked at what makes me smile on the inside.

Julie South: 14:02

So why do this? Well, do it because looking for the positive exercises your resilience muscle, your grit muscle, your fortitude muscle. It means you're looking for something other than all the hard stuff that you've got going on in your life right now. You can focus on something good. So that's one thing you can do is you can start looking to see what makes you smile on the inside.

Julie South: 14:29

The other thing you can do is this takes a bit longer is to sit down with a piece of paper or a new document on your phone or your laptop, wherever, and list all the things that you feel overwhelmed with, or, by right now, every single one of them, and then, one by one, identify what's the absolute worst possible thing that could happen in each situation, in each scenario, and then identify how realistic, how likely it is, that that worst case scenario is going to play out on a scale of one to 10, where 10 is, everything is going to implode and your life is going to be ruined beyond redemption. List every single thing. When you've got your list of one to 10s, then take the highest number that's the most likely to implode event or situation. Maybe you've got a 10 or or two or three right now with those. Then take a fresh piece of paper and draw a line down the center on the left hand side is controllable and the right hand side is uncontrollable. For each 10 or nine or whatever your highest numbers are, list all the possibilities of controllable and uncontrollable circumstances on each side. Get them all out of your head and onto paper.

Julie South: 16:00

So you're listing everything that you control, you can control about that number 10 in your life, your worst possible scenario, and then everything that you cannot control. Then start focusing on what you absolutely can control and let what you cannot control go, because you've just been identified already that you can't control it. So don't waste any brain space on that. It's precious energy in your head and your brain, so don't give it power over something that is way beyond you. Then what you do is you put in a plan of action on all the controllables so that you can get those 10s down to fives or maybe even lower.

Julie South: 16:51

If you've got kids, get them to do this with their challenges. It's a skill that'll pay compounding interest in their lives. They'll grow up with strong fortitude muscles and they will grow up being far more resilient than if they didn't do this. Trust me, both of these are excellent skills to put into practice each day. You'll get to the point where your overwhelm becomes underwhelm and you'll develop the skills to be able to smile on the inside even when it feels like everything around you is falling apart. It works Not overnight necessarily, but it does work and it is something that you need to spend time practicing. You need to get into the habit of doing it. This is the first installment on developing your resilience quotient. Tune back in next week and we'll grow it some more.

Julie South: 17:56

Now let's look at that question. I've been answering a bit more of than usual lately. It goes something like this Julie, I've just signed and accepted a new job offer and I think I've made the wrong decision. What can I do? Do I have to start? Can I stay on where I am Just to qualify? The people who have been calling me are the ones that have found their own jobs. They haven't been. They haven't. Vet staff hasn't helped them, and I'd like to think that they wouldn't be in this situation if we had helped them. So if this is you, or you're bestie, or it might be you, it could be you let's start with the legal aspects first.

Julie South: 18:54

Yes, you have to start, unless you've got some extra time up your sleeve than the notice period required at your new job. For example, you may have decided to give yourself a week or two off between finishing up at your current job and starting your new job, that you're not expected to start at your new job for, say I'm talking about vets here perhaps four months out and your new resignation period and your new contract that you've just signed, that you wished you hadn't was three months, so that's in the case of a vet, for nurses it might be six months, and then maybe you've got a month or a two week sorry, six weeks and maybe you've got a month or a two week resignation period. If you are absolutely sure that you've acted in haste and you don't want to start at your new job, then the right thing to do for you and for them is to resign straight away. You may end up needing to work a few weeks. You do have to resign, by the way, because you are officially under contract.

Julie South: 20:02

You may end up working a few weeks, or the new clinic may decide they don't want you to start. If you're only going to be there a few weeks and your heart's not really in it, then they may waive the balance of that resignation period. Obviously, they're going to be extremely disappointed. How they respond to react to that, I cannot anticipate, but it probably won't go down very well, understandably. So be prepared for that. But you do need to honour the resignation period in your new employment contract and your new agreement. So the sooner you resign, the better, as the staying on at your current clinic. That depends, and that's a decision that you'll have to have with your practice manager or your HI manager or your regional manager. If they've already found your replacement, then you might find yourself in a between job situation. If they haven't found your replacement, they may be absolutely delighted that you're not leaving or they may be thrilled that you are. Either way, it's a conversation that you'll need to have straight away.

Julie South: 21:09

As far as finding yourself in this predicament to start with, that's when you'll need to sit down and have a meeting with yourself to determine what happened and what, if anything, has changed since you resigned. What was it about the new job that suddenly had you developing cold feet? Is that a conversation you can have with your new clinic? Maybe life just got busy and have it before you resign. Maybe life just got busy for them and it wasn't that they're not looking forward to you joining their team. They just needed to put out fires, which took their attention away from you. So maybe you're feeling a little bit neglected.

Julie South: 21:53

Remember that for most clinics, recruitment in air quotes recruitment isn't a role like it is for us here at Vetstaff. It's a task or it's a function that the practice manager or the HI manager, or maybe even the clinic owner, tries to do themselves, along with all the other tasks and functions that they're meant to be doing every day. So it's not you, it's them. Then you also need to identify what it is you're feeling or what's changed. Maybe you've heard through the grapevine the clinic isn't such a great place to work. Check that out yourself. Are the sources credible? Are they reliable? Do they perhaps have a grudge or a vendetta to settle? What did you experience when you interviewed there? Why are you suddenly believing someone else and not trusting your own experience?

Julie South: 22:54

Before you do something rash again, like resign from your new job, have a meeting with yourself. Set aside some quiet, uninterrupted time. This is important. It's your career. You're going to be spending 40 hours a week, plus or minus, at this new place. So set aside, you know. Make an appointment with yourself. You're important. Give yourself some priority.

Julie South: 23:23

Then get a couple of sheets of blank paper on each side. Draw a center line down the sorry on each piece. Draw a center line down the middle. On one sheet of paper List all the pros and cons of staying where you are. On the other sheet of paper List all the pros and cons of moving to your new clinic. You need to look at this from both angles. It's because a con leaving might not equal a pro of going, or vice versa. So make sure that you do it from both staying and leaving.

Julie South: 24:04

Then it's time to reevaluate on the information you have in front of you. If you're still unsure, if you're still having doubts, then get in touch with us at Vetstaff and we can make an appointment for you to have a proper life coaching session with Tanya, vetstaff's life coach, and that will be as a way to help you get your head screwed on properly so you can get excited about going to work on Monday mornings. And now here's a quick word about one of our fantastic client clinics that is looking for their next companion animal Vet. The salary is commensurate with skills and experience. They're looking to pay between 90 and 140 per annum, so 90 if you're a new grad up to about 140 for around the five year mark. Maybe you've got a special interest that you're yearning to investigate or yearning to develop further. If that's you, then this clinic is a clinic that'll absolutely support you in your professional growth and development. You'll be working with a very skilled team of qualified nurses who are also supported in developing their professional specializations and skill sets. The nursing team is top notch.

Julie South: 25:42

The location is in the beautiful Malibu region of New Zealand's South Island. Water sports, snow sports, wineries, tramping, fishing and the great outdoors will all be on your doorstep. It's a place where people rarely lock their cars or front doors because it's safe. Kids can still play tennis in the streets and the pace of life is definitely that of lifestyle balanced with professional gratification and feel good make a difference factors. If you're listening from this to this from outside New Zealand, the clinic is Immigration New Zealand Employee Accredited and ready to support you in your visa application and relocation.

Julie South: 26:27

If you'd like to know more, please get in touch with either myself or Tanya Bruce at Vetstaff. Our contact info will be on the show notes for this episode wherever you're listening, or you can find us at on our website at vetstaffconz. I hope you've found this episode helpful and interesting. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have around changing jobs or anything to do with recruitment or jobs. All you have to do is just send me an email duly at vetstaffconz, and I'll answer it anonymously for you.

Julie South: 27:12

Before I go, just one final thing. You've heard me talk about vet clinic jobs before it's this shows business partner. Vet Clinic Jobs is the website where it's free for all vet clinics worldwide to advertise their staff vacancies for free. It's been designed by my husband and myself and me I to help the good employers shine online and for vet and nurses who are looking for these good employers to find them. For clinics that want to shine brighter than the vet clinic down the road, there are optional extras available at vetclinicjobscom for you to do that and I can guarantee it doesn't break the bank to shine really bright.

Julie South: 28:00

If you're going to the NZVA, nzvna Business Symposium in Auckland on the 1st and the 2nd of November, please check out for the vet staff team. We'll all be there, so please come and say hi, we'd love to meet you. And finally, thank you for spending the last 30 minutes or so of your life with me. I really do appreciate your time. If you like this podcast, please think about giving it a review on which even listening app you use, because it means that the algorithms will help people find it. This is Julie South signing off and inviting you to go out there and be the most fantabulous resilient you can be Until next week. Take care and go out there and look for the good in your life. The Vet Staff podcast is proudly powered by vetclinicjobscom, the new and innovative global job board reimagining veterinary recruitment, connecting veterinary professionals with clinics that shine online. Vetclinicjobscom is your go-to resource for finding the perfect career opportunities and helping vet clinics power up their employer branding game. Visit vetclinicjobscom today to find vet clinics that shine online, so veterinary professionals can find them. Vetclinicjobscom.